Side Stepping Power Struggles
#Realtalk to start: I know all of this stuff. I teach all of this stuff. And I can still step right into power struggles. This is a conscious practice, not a perfected formula. The following list helps us raise our awareness, instill values in our children by teaching overarching lessons instead of micromanaging daily routines.
Confident Leaders
I call this strategy “Confident Leader” and I most commonly recommend it for two common “battles” with young children. The first is transitions. Transitions can be overwhelming, and anxiety provoking for young children, even in the normal, daily routines.
Scripts for the Struggle
I’ve realized through my short parenting journey that nothing brings out the ugly scripts in my head quite like parenting. Even knowing what I know through thousands of hours of training, college courses, and work experience, nothing could have prepared me for the relentless and vulnerable context parenthood creates.
Calm Down
Do you remember the last time you lost your cool? Maybe you had a hard day. Maybe you felt overwhelmed and afraid. Maybe you were just exhausted and couldn’t deal with one more setback or obstacle. When you started venting to a friend or partner, what would have happened if they said “Just calm down. It’s no big deal”?
Mama Mantras
For my family action plans, I even listed out possible mantras for parents to use so they can stay calm while the child works through their big emotions. So here are some of my favorite mantras that I use for myself:
Seven Tips to Stay Sane with Siblings
Even with my background in early childhood development, special needs, and behavior management, this past year challenged me. I’ve learned a few things along the way AND had many opportunities to put theory into practice and thought I’d pass along some wisdom. So here’s some practical tips for staying sane with siblings:
Goodbye, Nap Time! Hello, Quiet Time!
I would like to start this post by taking a moment of silence to mourn the loss of nap time.
(Quiet sob)….
Now that we have mourned, how do we move on? This transition is rough on parent and child. So how do we soften the blow of losing nap time? Meet quiet time - a very important routine of early childhood for parent and child’s sanity. Quiet time can replace nap time by simply keeping the nap time routine in tact, but allowing the child a little more freedom of activity.
Building Up Our Kids: Quick Reference
It’s easy to knock something or someone down. It takes time, energy, effort, and thoughtfulness to build something or someone up. I heard this analogy the other day and it struck me. The context was simply referring to negative people, but I immediately connected it to parenting. As parents, we spend SO much time and energy building our children up, BUT it can all come crashing down when you’re sleep-deprived, fed-up, and used up all your patience before noon. I fell victim to that this week.
7 Tricks to Tame Tantrums
Tantrums are probably the number one challenge to most toddler parents. They are most definitely the number one reason why parents contact me. So I wanted to make a “quick reference” guide for tantrums. One you can pull-out on those days when you may not have the mental clarity to think through it yourself or you’re just too tired to troubleshoot through the fifth tantrum that day (Solidarity, mamas!).
Tantrums & Stay-Listening
Tantrums are very rarely about the fixation or perseveration of the screaming. They are generally about either control or connection. If a child feels powerless, they will try to find power any way they can (what they eat, what they where, when the do something, how they do something). If a child feel disconnected, they will insist on establishing the connection by any means necessary - positive or negative.
Rainy Day Play Dough
Rainy days have this mama searching for anything and everything to take-up time and entertain both myself and the toddler. When I think of these activities, I look for multi-step projects to A. take up the most time and B. provide feelings of accomplishment and creation, while still allowing the activity to be open-ended. These two goals are the reason why we frequently make our own play dough instead of buying it.
Sorting the Rainbow
So what is a pregnant mama with a toddler to do to beat the heat? I’ve decided to compile a list of activities to do with my son that will keep us entertained, inside, and cool during these HOT, HOT months. I will publish a weekly activity that worked in our house and include how to modify it for age/skill. Additionally I’ll cover all the great learning opportunities that the activity presents while you and your child are engaged.
Words of Power & Empathy: Part 1
Empowering our children requires parents to consciously find ways to give them a healthy level of control while still providing security through setting boundaries. Empathy calls for a thorough understanding and interpretation of our child’s development, temperament, and compassion for their struggles. Ultimately, this is what led to Play With Purpose’s inception - a calling to educate parents to empower their children.
Words of Power & Empathy: Part 2
Now that we understand our child’s development and how to set developmentally appropriate expectations, we need to “speak their language” and communicate in a clear, concise, yet an empathetic way. In order to do this, we need to be aware of common abstract terms and phrases we use with our children.
The Power of a Picture Schedule
Picture schedules are often used with children on the Autism Spectrum as a way to communicate routines and expectations within the classroom. The picture cards on a picture schedule can be used in many different ways, such as: a child communicating preferences, an adult communicating expectations (“First we wash hands, then we eat snack.”), and also as a roadmap for daily activities.
Learning Centers at Home
Center set-ups keep materials organized, children focused, and learning objectives obvious and clear. While children are in these centers, they are encouraged to learn important academic and social skills through their natural inclination to play.
Cozy Corners for Comfort: Helping Your Child Stay Grounded in an Over-Stimulating World
Setting up a “kid-friendly” environment can be deceptively difficult. In our culture, more is better and being busy makes us happier and smarter. These behavior patterns seep from our adult lives into our children’s routines, even though study after study demonstrates that overstimulation can, in fact, be detrimental to our children’s development.
Spring Cleaning
So…. here is a glimpse of my toy rotation strategy and the reasoning behind it.
Children’s Literature: A Discipline Tool?
Children’s books are gifts to children and parents alike. They capture children’s attention and activate their imagination. Authors, illustrators, and publishers who specialize in children’s literature do all our leg work to communicate morals, lessons, and stories to children in ways that they understand and enjoy. Because of their thoughtful design, children’s books offer an approachable and understandable medium to explain abstract concepts such as emotions, friendship, love, fairness, kindness, etc.