Caley Kukla 1/4/23 Caley Kukla 1/4/23

Stay Close During Tantrums?

Caley Kukla 1/7/22 Caley Kukla 1/7/22

Screen Time & Children: Understanding meltdowns and anxiety around screen time

With my first child, we didn’t really introduce a screen until around age three.

When I did, I made some observations about his behavior while watching a show:

He quickly became “glued” to the television, glassy eyes no blinking. 

His eyes would water (from not blinking!). 

Meltdowns were usually guaranteed to happen when it was time to turn it off.

Caley Kukla 8/5/21 Caley Kukla 8/5/21

When Our Children Share Big Feelings… Do This!

Caley Kukla 8/4/21 Caley Kukla 8/4/21

Back To School Books

Caley Kukla 4/28/21 Caley Kukla 4/28/21

5 Lessons Learned From Time-Out

Time-out is a popular recommendation for discipline in early childhood, but is rejected by the gentle parenting community. Where do gentle parenting and this traditional parenting technique overlap? Here are five points to that parents can implement in their own parenting practice.

Caley Kukla 10/30/20 Caley Kukla 10/30/20

The Day After Celebrations

Power struggles are an attempt from both parties to control a given situation. They are also a strong energetic exchange. The child senses that the leadership energy is weak, uncertain, uncomfortable, so they lean-in to the situation. If there’s a vacuum of leadership, someone else must step in to vill the void. In this case, the child attempts to become the person in charge.

The parent senses this attempt at dominance and tries to pull the control back. And the tug-of-war ensues.

If the child feels confident energy, they don’t feel the need to explore the dynamic. The leader is confident, so the child feel confident. The child feels safe.

Caley Kukla 10/8/20 Caley Kukla 10/8/20

How To Use Confident Momentum To Avoid Power Struggles

Power struggles are an attempt from both parties to control a given situation. They are also a strong energetic exchange. The child senses that the leadership energy is weak, uncertain, uncomfortable, so they lean-in to the situation. If there’s a vacuum of leadership, someone else must step in to vill the void. In this case, the child attempts to become the person in charge.

The parent senses this attempt at dominance and tries to pull the control back. And the tug-of-war ensues.

If the child feels confident energy, they don’t feel the need to explore the dynamic. The leader is confident, so the child feel confident. The child feels safe.

Caley Kukla 9/1/20 Caley Kukla 9/1/20

When Your Child Says: “I don’t like it!”

Here’s a “secret” that will change your life: “I don’t like it” usually doesn’t actually mean the child doesn’t like it. They just don’t have enough nuanced language to express what they’re really thinking.

Nicholas Kukla 1/13/20 Nicholas Kukla 1/13/20

When Children Act Like Children

It all begins with an idea.

Nicholas Kukla 12/16/19 Nicholas Kukla 12/16/19

Side Stepping Power Struggles

#Realtalk to start: I know all of this stuff. I teach all of this stuff. And I can still step right into power struggles. This is a conscious practice, not a perfected formula. The following list helps us raise our awareness, instill values in our children by teaching overarching lessons instead of micromanaging daily routines.

Nicholas Kukla 6/11/19 Nicholas Kukla 6/11/19

Confident Leaders

I call this strategy “Confident Leader” and I most commonly recommend it for two common “battles” with young children. The first is transitions. Transitions can be overwhelming, and anxiety provoking for young children, even in the normal, daily routines.

Nicholas Kukla 5/22/19 Nicholas Kukla 5/22/19

Scripts for the Struggle

I’ve realized through my short parenting journey that nothing brings out the ugly scripts in my head quite like parenting. Even knowing what I know through thousands of hours of training, college courses, and work experience, nothing could have prepared me for the relentless and vulnerable context parenthood creates.

Nicholas Kukla 1/28/19 Nicholas Kukla 1/28/19

Calm Down

Do you remember the last time you lost your cool? Maybe you had a hard day. Maybe you felt overwhelmed and afraid. Maybe you were just exhausted and couldn’t deal with one more setback or obstacle. When you started venting to a friend or partner, what would have happened if they said “Just calm down. It’s no big deal”?

Nicholas Kukla 10/7/18 Nicholas Kukla 10/7/18

Mama Mantras

For my family action plans, I even listed out possible mantras for parents to use so they can stay calm while the child works through their big emotions. So here are some of my favorite mantras that I use for myself:

Nicholas Kukla 9/4/18 Nicholas Kukla 9/4/18

Seven Tips to Stay Sane with Siblings

Even with my background in early childhood development, special needs, and behavior management, this past year challenged me. I’ve learned a few things along the way AND had many opportunities to put theory into practice and thought I’d pass along some wisdom. So here’s some practical tips for staying sane with siblings:

Nicholas Kukla 8/20/18 Nicholas Kukla 8/20/18

Goodbye, Nap Time! Hello, Quiet Time!

I would like to start this post by taking a moment of silence to mourn the loss of nap time.

(Quiet sob)….

Now that we have mourned, how do we move on? This transition is rough on parent and child. So how do we soften the blow of losing nap time? Meet quiet time - a very important routine of early childhood for parent and child’s sanity. Quiet time can replace nap time by simply keeping the nap time routine in tact, but allowing the child a little more freedom of activity.

Nicholas Kukla 2/26/18 Nicholas Kukla 2/26/18

Building Up Our Kids: Quick Reference

It’s easy to knock something or someone down. It takes time, energy, effort, and thoughtfulness to build something or someone up. I heard this analogy the other day and it struck me. The context was simply referring to negative people, but I immediately connected it to parenting. As parents, we spend SO much time and energy building our children up, BUT it can all come crashing down when you’re sleep-deprived, fed-up, and used up all your patience before noon. I fell victim to that this week.

Nicholas Kukla 8/7/17 Nicholas Kukla 8/7/17

7 Tricks to Tame Tantrums

Tantrums are probably the number one challenge to most toddler parents. They are most definitely the number one reason why parents contact me. So I wanted to make a “quick reference” guide for tantrums. One you can pull-out on those days when you may not have the mental clarity to think through it yourself or you’re just too tired to troubleshoot through the fifth tantrum that day (Solidarity, mamas!).

Nicholas Kukla 6/11/17 Nicholas Kukla 6/11/17

Tantrums & Stay-Listening

Tantrums are very rarely about the fixation or perseveration of the screaming. They are generally about either control or connection. If a child feels powerless, they will try to find power any way they can (what they eat, what they where, when the do something, how they do something). If a child feel disconnected, they will insist on establishing the connection by any means necessary - positive or negative.

Nicholas Kukla 6/8/17 Nicholas Kukla 6/8/17

Rainy Day Play Dough

Rainy days have this mama searching for anything and everything to take-up time and entertain both myself and the toddler. When I think of these activities, I look for multi-step projects to A. take up the most time and B. provide feelings of accomplishment and creation, while still allowing the activity to be open-ended. These two goals are the reason why we frequently make our own play dough instead of buying it.