How to Talk to Your Child About Autism or ADHD:

Tips & Books to Help Start the Conversation

By Caley Kukla, M.Ed. & Kimberly Rivieccio, Ed.D, LMHC, NCC, ASDCS

By the time parents receive a diagnosis for their child, they’ve already been on a long journey. They’ve felt fear, felt confused, often times their worries and questions have been minimized or dismissed and they’ve had to keep digging, pushing, and at time, fighting to ensure their child (and family!) receives the supports they need to thrive. This is most common time for me to work with parents, and almost all the time there are feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and even defeat.

So when the diagnosis comes, it feels like validation - my child needs something different than others! It’s not my imagination! Or maybe even: “It’s not my fault that ‘nothing was helping’. I just didn’t have the right tools or lens.”

Then there’s a flood of emotions that vary from person to person and may even vary day to day.

As the parent digests the information, they are then faced with - What do I share with my child? How do I share it with them? And many parents are hesitant to share because they fear their child “using their label as an excuse”.

I hear these concerns often, which is why when I heard Dr. Kim Rivieccio’s presentation, “Embracing Neurodiversity:  Supporting families with the decision of why, when, and how to talk to their children about their autism diagnosis”, I knew I had to have her on the podcast.

In this COR Parenting Conversation, Kim and Caley highlight the approachable tips to help empower parents to navigate this conversation. Spoiler Alert: It’s not ONE conversation. It’s an ongoing, evolving conversation with your child that builds upon itself as your child develops.

Your child understanding their diagnosis is a key piece to them forming a strong sense of self, a key mission of childhood. It can help provide preventative support from the progression of additional mental health challenges, and increases their sense of agency because their experience is validated and they can identify choices, supports, and strategies that help them. They can also find mentors and role models to inspire them and learn from a learned experience.

To further support parents, here are some quick tips and book recommendations from Kim’s presentation:

Autism, ADHD & Neurodiversity Book Resources

Whether you're helping a child understand their diagnosis, learning how to support someone you love, or exploring neurodiversity for yourself, these books offer different perspectives, practical tools, and opportunities for meaningful conversations.

1. Books to Read WITH Your Child

Illustrated stories and child-friendly books that help children understand autism, celebrate differences, and build empathy.

- All My Stripes: A Story for Children with Autism by Shaina Rudolph and Danielle Royer
A picture book that helps children recognize that autism is one part of who they are, not their entire identity.

- My Brother Charlie by Holly Robinson Peete and Ryan Elizabeth Peete
A story told from a sibling's perspective that helps children understand autism, family relationships, and the ways people communicate and connect differently.

- Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome? by Jude Welton
An illustrated introduction that helps children, siblings, classmates, and friends understand an autistic child's experiences.

- Can I Tell You About Autism? by Jude Welton
An accessible, illustrated guide for talking with children about autism, differences, and ways to support autistic peers.

- This Is My Brain!: A book on neurodiversity By Elise Gravel

- Too Much! A Reassuring Picture Book About Sensory Overload, Overstimulation, and Finding Calm By Jolene Gutiérrez

- Wonderfully Wired By Stacey Lucas Toumbourou

2. Books for Parents Learning About Their Child's Diagnosis

Build understanding, recognize your child's unique needs and strengths, and learn how to support their development.

- Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm
Helps parents better understand their child's experiences, communication, sensory needs, and behavior.

- What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline
Offers practical strategies for understanding ADHD, building collaboration, and helping children succeed at home and school.

- Supporting Your Autism Journey by Kerry Magro
Addresses common questions about autism, educational support, social skills, advocacy, and transitions throughout life.

3. Books for Supporting Yourself or a Loved One Along the Journey

Practical guidance, encouragement, self-understanding, and real-life perspectives for autistic individuals and those who support them.

- Self-Care for Autistic People by Dr. Megan Anna Neff
A resource for autistic teens and adults who want practical tools for managing stress, recognizing their needs, and caring for themselves.

- Living Well on the Spectrum by Valerie L. Gaus, PhD
Strategies for navigating everyday challenges, building on personal strengths, and improving quality of life. Primarily geared toward autistic adults.

- Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone
Explores the experiences of autistic girls and women, including identity, relationships, and challenges that may be overlooked.

- Autistics on Autism edited by Kerry Magro
Firsthand accounts from autistic individuals sharing the experiences and support that helped them while growing up and pursuing their goals.

4. Books for Understanding Neurodiversity and Shifting Perspectives

Explore autism beyond a diagnosis, challenge assumptions, and develop a deeper appreciation for neurodivergent experiences.

- We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia
Examines autism through autistic perspectives and challenges common misconceptions about what autistic people need.

- NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman
Explores the history of autism, the evolution of public understanding, and the neurodiversity movement.

- Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD
Explores autistic masking, identity, social expectations, and the importance of authenticity and acceptance.

5. Books for Sharing Your Story and Helping Others Understand

Resources for communicating about autism with extended family, friends, teachers, and your broader community.

- Talking the Talk About Autism: How to Share and Tell Your Story by Haley Moss
Guidance for communicating personal experiences with autism, advocating for understanding, and deciding how to share your story.

To dive deeper into this conversation, listen to this COR Parenting Conversation, episode 76: Conversations About Neurodivergence: Explaining Your Child's Diagnosis and Helping Others Understand.